5 Ways to Help Someone Going Through a Layoff
Written by Steven Urban and Kat Cox
According to an independent jobs tracking website, Layoffs.fyi, nearly 100,000 people have been laid off globally in 2024 so far. This adds to a whopping 240,000 people laid off in 2023. Large companies like Google and Microsoft have had very public layoffs and Forbes reports that 60% of employers plan more layoffs this year. Chances are, if you weren’t laid off in the past year, you know someone who was.
It can be hard to know what to say to someone who has lost their job to downsizing or restructuring. Harder still is knowing what actions you can take to help them while they’re going through it. Losing a job can be devastating, life-altering, or even exciting.
In my work as a leadership coach, I’ve spoken with dozens of people who have gone through layoffs. One thing they don’t need: another article with advice pointed their way. Instead, here are five ways you can help someone else who’s going through a layoff.
1. Don’t Assume You Know What a Laid Off Person Is Going Through
Because layoffs are so common, many of us probably have experience with them. But this doesn’t mean we know what someone is dealing with when they’re facing a layoff. Every individual’s experience with a layoff will be different, even if there are common themes.
According to job placement company Davron, people who go through a layoff may experience overwhelming negative feelings, including anxiety, fear, sadness, loss, anger, frustration, embarrassment, and shame. Being let go from a job can feel like a personal failing and can disorient someone’s sense of self or purpose.
It’s not uncommon for people to have mixed feelings about being laid off. Some people may actually feel glad to have been let go. This is especially true if the work environment was becoming toxic as layoffs loomed on the horizon. As one client said, “I felt like I got dumped by the guy I was going to dump and he just got to it first.”
Don’t jump into a conversation with your laid-off friend by assuming you know what they need. Instead, ask them.
2. Ask and Really Listen to What They Have to Say
The best thing you can do for a person going through a layoff is ask them – how they’re feeling, what they need, and even if they want to talk about it. This is a good way to approach any kind of life change or grief. Often, people just want someone to listen to them without judgment or offering advice.
Your laid-off friend or colleague may surprise you with news that they already have other jobs lined up or contacts with networks in place and don’t need your help. Or you may find they don’t know where to turn and could use your guidance. They may also not be ready for another job and have plans to do something else on their break.
Talking about an issue can remove its power over someone, but it can also cause them more anxiety if they’re not ready. So just ask and be there for them if they’re willing to talk about it. Respect the choices the laid-off person is making. Never push someone to find a new job or make money when they’re not ready to. A good way to approach it is say: “If there is anything you need or want to talk about, please let me know.”
3. Be Specific In What You Have to Offer
When someone reaches out to you that they’ve been laid off, they may not ask for help right away. But if they do need help, it’s important for you to be specific in what kind of help you can give. Generic offers of assistance may be well-intentioned, but they can cause more frustration than help.
If you reach out to someone going through a layoff with resources, be as specific as possible. Are you offering them a direct introduction to someone hiring? Are you willing to look over their resume as an expert? Can you give them constructive feedback on their portfolio or LinkedIn page? Can you bring them around your network and keep an eye out for any opportunities that may arise? Or are you available to take them to lunch or a movie so they can be distracted for a little while?
Remember to respect your own boundaries when you’re offering help to someone going through a layoff. Don’t promise time, energy, expertise, or resources that you don’t have. “The worst is when people ghost you,” one client told me. “You’re already in this place of fear, and if someone comes through with a lifeline and then disappears, it’s devastating.”
Also, recognize that just because you want to help someone, it doesn’t mean you have the knowledge to help them. For example, if you don’t understand what kind of work your friend does or what expertise or experience they have, sending them jobs you think they’d like or making network connections that provide no benefit can be worse than not offering to help at all.
4. Respect Their Privacy
Shame is a big emotion that many people feel during layoffs. People may not be ready to talk about it or tell other people about this change in their life. Being laid off can come with financial insecurity, anxiety over the future, and the fear of stigma. It can also complicate personal issues such as divorce or child custody disputes, and people may not want to tell the world about their layoff.
Even if you have the perfect introduction to make or job to send your friend, respect their wishes when it comes to privacy. Don’t talk about someone’s layoff without their permission. Don’t hype them up on LinkedIn if they haven’t approved the post.
5. Let the Person Know You Value Them
When someone is going through a layoff (or any kind of grief), it’s important to center their needs. Whatever they ask for (or don’t), one thing you can do is reassure them that you value them.
Layoffs tend to be impersonal, but companies often don’t give laid-off employees any closure about why they were let go. It’s common for people to internalize the job cut as something they did wrong. Letting your friend or colleague know that you appreciate them – no matter their job status – can help.
You can show them that you value them even if you don’t explicitly say so. Give them space to talk, mope, cry, or find distractions. Also, don’t make their layoff about you. Center their experience, listen to them, and allow them to grieve however they need to.
I recommend learning about the Ring Theory of psychology so you can learn how not to say the wrong thing to anyone going through a difficult situation. In this theory, the person who is personally experiencing the tragedy (in this case, the layoff) is the center of concentric rings of community. The first ring around them is their immediate family and closest friends. The next ring is less close friends, close colleagues, or other community members. The rings circle out from there, with acquaintances and others in larger rings.
The idea is that people in outer rings can say or provide comfort in towards the center of the ring, but never complain or criticize (what this author calls “kvetching”) inwards. People at the center can kvetch outwards all they want (“comfort in, kvetching out”). This centers the person going through the issue and allows them to have their needs met while receiving their preferred level of comfort, which is exactly what someone going through a layoff needs.
If You Have Been Laid Off and Need to Work Through What Is Next, Build Your Alliance Coaching Is Here to Help
If you or someone in a smaller ring is seeking support after a layoff to process emotions or determine what’s next, get in touch with Build Your Alliance.
At Build Your Alliance, we believe our coaching services can help someone going through a layoff (or even someone who’s concerned they may be laid off soon). But our techniques also help build self-awareness for people who are steady in their jobs and need to learn better ways to communicate. Explore our professional coaching packages to see if Build Your Alliance is the right fit for moving you to the next level in your career or personal life.